I finished the first major chunk of Book II in my Glitch trilogy today, which ended on a big fat exciting action sequence that is very first-drafty and needs a ton more work. Actually, the whole 30,000 words I've written on it need a ton more work, and part of me is itching, nay, even aching, to dive into those edits. Very emo of me, I know. That's how I roll ;)
Because I don't have the time for that right now. There's this little thing called my grad school classes which are splitting my focus so that even when I spend a delicious day writing like I did today, there's this underlying unease and stress because of other looming deadlines. But I have zero motivation, much less patience, for academic crap right now. I've have a 4.0 up till now, not only because I've been a perfectionist, but also because I thought this would be my career. It's the same reason I've chased down conference panel submissions and academic publications--so I'd be an attractive PhD candidate. Which was always Plan B. But Plan A? To become a writer? Seemed like too ridiculous a dream to hope for. Yet, surprise, surprise, Plan A is actually working out!
BUT. I'm still stuck finishing up Plan B because I've come this far and it's my last semester of coursework and who knows what will happen with the writing in the future and I can't shoot myself in the foot b/c I still might need this and----- yes, the neurosis is very loud sometimes :) Basically, I still might go for a PhD at sometime in the future, but for awhile, at least a year or two after I finish school, writing gets to be my vocation. All I've ever wanted to do was write for a job! And I get to do it! And I want to be doing it NOW!!!
Ahem. So I have no actual resolutions about how to resolve this. I think flying by the seat of my pants and putting out fires as they arise is the motto of this semester. When editorial notes for Book I come, all else will cease to matter in the world and my academic perfectionism will take a hiatus until the edits are done. I remind myself to breathe. I chant this Romanian rhyme the husband taught me over and over: incetul cu incetul invatam alfabetul.
It roughly translates to: little by little, we learn the alphabet. I can't think of an English saying that encapsulates it exactly (which is probably why I stick to the Romanian one), but I guess our equivalent is: one day at a time, or maybe slow and steady wins the race. But you get the picture. Focus on one thing today, another tomorrow, and eventually, everything will get done. Incetul cu incetul, my lovelies. Incetul cu incetul.