Saturday, November 13, 2010

Lazy Saturday Afternoon

I love lazy Saturday morning/afternoons with my beautiful little family. We've made a tradition over the past few months to have a brunch of eggs and sweet rolls, then D (the husband) and I catch up over coffee while Joseph plays around. Then today we all sat together as a family and read J the books I got for him at the library this week, then all wrestled together and had a mini pillow fight. I think there's something magical and beyond-words awesome about being part of a family like this.

D and I were talking this morning about the future. Changes they are a-coming, and D's anxious about making it in the research world of PhD-land. He's studying to take the GRE in a couple weeks, and I'm helping him write his personal statement for the PhD applications due in December. Part of what he's afraid of is that he'll get into this program and STILL be so busy he can't have a life. This is a theme I've been talking about with other friends lately too. It's so easy to get caught up in what we're "supposed to do" as adults, that we can waste years forgetting to really live. D feels like there's an expected sacrifice of all free time in PhD programs, and I keep telling him that NO, it doesn't have to be that way if we don't let it. He's been working like a zombie for at least three years now--first in his corporate job, and then this semester with research project. He's been living like this so long, it's hard to believe change is possible.

But that's the real kicker about so many things in life--change seems impossible when you've been in a rut for so long. It genuinely feels impossible. But then, something good or bad happens, and change occurs anyway. And it's shocking when it does. But all these American myths that tell us we have to constantly worry about the future and live in fear of "not making it," not having enough 401k stored up or money for the future--it's all enough to choke the life out of a person. I refuse to believe it anymore. Bad things will happen, things might not work out like we hope, but I genuinely believe that together, we'll be okay. We'll make it. And in the meantime, let's get busy living the hell out of every single day.

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