This post was going to be about copyedits, but other things have intruded, namely my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I try not to talk about it much, but on days like today, where the exhaustion got so bad I could barely hold the pencil to mark up my copyedits, there's little else I can think about. I've been sick since I was a freshman in college, over ten years now. I try to spread awareness of what CFS is when I can. I know the name makes it sounds like I just get a little extra tired or take naps in the afternoon or something. I go to a support group sometimes and the best way I heard to explain it to people is this: it's like the last day of having the flu. You still have a fever, your body feels weighed down with lead, you're not very functional. Of all the things in my life--being a wife, mother, writer--it's the CFS that defines me the most. At one point I had to use a wheelchair because I was unable to walk.
Last year I was well enough to start going on short ten to twenty minute walks, but unfortunately I had to stop taking a medication that was helping and I've relapsed. This means lots of time on the couch, maybe venturing out of the house once a week for a couple hours. I go on lock-down and try to wait it out until the energy comes back little by little.
So. I try hard to keep a positive attitude. It's been this bad before. I know how to adjust my expectations and muddle through. There's so much in my life to be happy and grateful about. A wonderful family, healthy son, loving husband. Glitch is coming out this year, and people around the internet seem excited about it. I'm so lucky to be able to be a writer in the first place, a job I can do from my couch, which I know full well is a rare and precious thing.
And the copyedits are going well! I'm about a third of the way through and I have 8 days left to get done. Even if I take today off just to rest, I should be able to finish on time.
If you want to know more about CFS, here are some links:
- fellow author (Seabiscuit, Unbroken) Laura Hillenbrand talking about her debilitating CFS
- A quick overview here